A field of butterflies

I'm scared, scared of what's to come, to me it doesn't look too great but all I can do atm is.... I don't know what to do... I'm so scared, I've ruined moments before, I've ruined friends before, I've ruined so many things and I really don't want them to happen again, but it's so hard, I'm completely stuck. So many problems run through my head now..... Where do I start?!

1. Am I completely invisible to you guys? Worthless? A waste of space, cause I sure feel that way.....
Lying here, I feel like the loneliness person in the world, no one to talk to, no one to eat with, no one to sit with, no one. Just me and my music. The same song over and over again..... I seriously want to go home... But then again what good would that do, it's the same everywhere

2. Why can't we be different? How come its so easy for me to talk to others but do hard with you? I really really want to know you, I really do, I look at my relationship with others and wonder, will you ever know me like *********** does? Will you ever know ************ like ******* does? How will I ever get through to you? I couldn't just tell you could I? Cause I didn't tell these people and they sure picked it up :/ and they are me friends, I really hope your different :(

3. I'm really worried about you :( about all of you, you guys are like family to me, it's like I have 10 extra big bothers and sisters and I would never want to loose you, each and everyone of you I would miss dearly, but I can't help but think whether this is coming to an end :/ or at least decreasing. Whether you guys still read blogs or not I just really want to say that, you guys mean a lot to me, even if one day worst comes to worst, I will never forget the fantastic memories we've had together. I love you all so much. And I sincerely wish you had a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year :)

4. With all of the emotional stuff written, I guess my next worry is hsc.... Bulging throughout yr 10 and most of yr 11 I'm not so confident that ill do good in the hsc.... Everyone says ill do fine... But I'm not to sure about that.. I don't feel fine... I don't think ill do fine.... I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing...

I guess all this typing is making me tired, but by the time I get to post this it will be days later.... The middle of nowhere doesn't have very good reception.... Which brings me to my title, a field of butterflies, 3hrs from Melbourne into the centre, out in the bush, the true magic of nature is right in front of me, living here for 2 days really excite me, the flowers about flowers, the fresh lake, the green grass he trees, it's absolutely amazing. Makes me forget all my troubles and just focus on the beauty around me ( cliche and stupid I know ) but I wanted to end on a good note cause I know life is a big ball of ugly but in reality all I can do is face it and tackle it down. All I can do is try and Enjoy the Now. And don't be too sad :)

Just when you thought everything was alright, your whole world breaks downs and crumbles away

so this is what it feels like

the flutter in my heart, when you say something, the nervousness, thinking about what to talk to you about, the anxiousness, felt waiting for your reply, the happiness. ^^

if you guys arent going to be around, there is no point in making an effort anymore.

That smile <3

after orchestra i feel so christmasy all the time ^^ my favourite ever christmas songs would have to be away in the manger , hark the herald angels and o come all ye faithful, SO GOOD! :D 我永远不会忘记这一天 我说了 我说了! 我跟他讲话!!! :) 我真的很高兴!! 很开心!! 是真的! 一个窗口关闭，另一扇就会打开, 我希望这可以成为我的新生活, 但我希望忘了不会太难 :/ 只能,等着看吧

一閃一閃亮晶晶 留下歲月的痕跡 我的世界的中心 依然還是你~ 我还喜欢你吗? 那些回憶 我不会忘記的. 但是现在已经没了 我也不能改变现实. 算了吧.....

I am afraid :( my heart is telling me one thing but I know I shouldn't I just can't. It will be stupid I can't go back on my word maybe I should just stay away until then

Is it possible to hate something so much that you can't stand it, even though it was my whole world before? But why do I still want it? What should I do? The rock is basically my life~

Ofc it's one in a million to feel the way you do, it's not that easy :/ even if I was going TRY to catch that one bolt of lighting, is it worth it? Maybe I should just wait till one week that one week, if luck goes my way :) but I think I found if I do try hard good things happen :) I mean that test was a breeze :) lets just hope I did alright ^^ and the ones coming, I'm ready! :) lets hope this momentum continues and forward we go! :) but boy it's lonesome at home :( nothing but the slow and relaxing beats of the bass, will I end up like daisy? :/

i think its kinda true how when one door closes another one opens :) sometimes it takes a while, but others its almost instantaneous, but all is good :) lets hope for the best! :D

wake me up when it all ends.

life sucks. well i typed a whole paragraph going on about why i came to this discison but ....i think writing it out kinda eased the anger and hatred so.. *delete* and all i have left to say is that talking to you really made it better i guess now i know life isnt easy and its hard to be optimistic about things all the time but things cant change, they are how god made them so..yer but im glad i got over it cause today i had the most wonderful day! despite the weird weather everyone was really nice :) people who i do even talk to or even hate and thought they hated me actually greeted me or laughed with me and listened to me... one girl smiled and said "bye! wow whitney i havent talked to you in ages!" ....at first i didnt answer thinking she was talking to a person behind me...cause it would have been awkward if i answered her and she wasnt talking to me....lol then the girl i hated turned around and talked to me and even laughed..... lol whut? then 3 teachers in a row greeted me with a smile and a 'how are you'. was there a sign on me or something? did i look like i needed a happy greeting? i was feeling so cheerful when i got home :) even my sisters and i had the fun-ness time eating dinner, as i only discovered the song some nights last night we sang so loudly it was so fun ^^ so yer, i guess today makes up for that other day :/ but i guess the higher you go the faster and harder you fall :/ i know i did.. but fixing that wont be a too big of a problem... i cant just *delete* all of it ill just avoid it. theres no turning back now.. its a totally different world now.

I give up... There's no point anymore it's two completely separate paths now, can't do anything about it, it's just how it is. I guess daisy actually represents something.... Lol epiphany right there guys! It actual reflects something.... Trippy~

Unbelievably it has come to this, I guess we had our times but now it's all different, and nothing can change it now. I would have never thought that even bumping into each other it has gone the stage where... Saying hi is pointless when am I going to be that person that you know the face but not their name? Soon I say....soon......

葉子~

我一個人吃飯 旅行 到處走走停停 也一個人看書 寫信 自己對話談心 只是心又飄到了哪裡 就連自己看也看不清 我想我不僅僅是失去你

This break is kinda quite different then I thought it would be like... From recent unfortunate events I have driven 8 hours to sit in a hotel room and watch friends.. But never the less I am enjoying myself, over the last day I have done a lot of thinking and I realize I take granted for a lot of things and wish for so much more, I can't help it that's just the way I am.. But I sure have rethought these wants and decided against them, they aren't important now, what's important now is school and who am I kidding like it will ever happen. But I would like to put out there, even though I doubt you will ever read this... That I'm really greatful that I met you and I can't imagine what it would be like without meeting you.... Actually maybe life would have a lot less heart breaking momments but I'm still glad I met you and I will except reality and forget about it, it's not easy but with the right mind set I believe I can do it　^^
Life has to move on...

the past year

these couple of days ive been thinking alot about the past year, everything that happened last year, at that time we never thought of what will happen now, but boy oh boy the changes. i will always remember your message "i hope i can celebrate many of these days in the future" i hoped so too, but look at now :/ idk this past year...has it been great? i think more great then bad, i found some of my way even though not really.... i guess i lost some friends :/ but i also gained some :) and got closer with others too i guess i feelings to shredded to pieces a couple of times too, but then there are the other times where you will never forget :) i achieved in some aspects but failed in others :/ but then again, thats life, its always full of ups and downs i just cant wait and see what the future holds, another year, another mystery

i have no idea what to do in life anymore.... absolutely none..... :(

"Come back to me if you're not too far If you still love me... I am still waiting for you right here yeah yeah If you already forgot about me, I'll wait a little more so I can hate myself more yeah~" great song!~

i just have to push through!~~~ 3 more days! 3 more assessments!!! by the week end all i want to do is to the beautiful you and sleeppppp! but idk maybe doing something worth while could also be beneficial :) we shall see MATHS MUSIC AND PHYSICS TO GO! WO! i feel totally dead atm ==

is this a sign that nothing i ever do is going to go right? i mean why am i just so stupiddddddddd maybe im just that stupid................................. :( life is good not from where i stand and i guess ******* is so going to happen know, you just all wait and see!

studying...staying a home...nothing to do but study..SUCKS. the one thing i hate about myself is coming back :( i really hate...maybe thats too strong of a word...but it annoys me... what you guys did to me...like i think i was fine the way i was... i was happy that way...now im just miserable... i cant look... maybe this time, i can change it, i mean its not that hard....:) bored bored boreedddd

stupid song == now im thinking about you again~~~~~ :( waah i miss you <3

i need you, and i miss you, and now i wonder..... cause you know id walk a 1000 miles if i could just see you~

i cant believe im ACUTALLY sad....like WHY? it totally shouldnt mean anything but...wow i can actually feel a pierce through my heart like..its not imaginary i can actually feel it.... stupid feelings

todays exam... im really dissapointed idk... did i study enough? some people would say no, cause really..i only studied it a few weeks before the exam...but nothing was really syncing .... but on the other hand..i did study more then i did last time which i guess is a good thing :) but i shouldnt be proud..i didnt do very well... but doing this exam it felt different... normally in exams i wouldnt know something and i would think "lol...." and just bullshit my way through it, but during this exam not once did i think lol instead i was very unhappy with myself. my feelings and thoughts are "no matter how hard i tried nothing good ever happens" but in reality i know...i didnt try that hard...if i did i would have done better.... but those feelings and thoughts are still present WAHHH why am i such i fail == oh how i wish you were here.. lol and this morning i thought today might be a lucky day cause i saw you again....but i guess not

drifting away....

could this be the end? .............. if it is, i had fun and those memories will stay with me til forever <3

this is just to much....

Shubidubi Sha LaLaLaLa

After listening to it again on Sunday ... Yayaya kinda started crossover for me, it was the reason I went to crossover but I never took notice of it, I alwars thought it was a funny song ^^ but now I find it more funnier then ever :) its like so fun! Like.. The dance :)lol but yer
Yo ma Yo ma Lova Lova
Yo ma Yo ma Supa Nova! :p

Pretty experiment :)

why is it that at times of busy-ness i cant do anything except think of you :(

nothing i do goes right, you think its great! but it always ends in disaster

ice skating!

so today i went iceskating with my family, it sure is a different feeling to going iceskating with friends.....lol theres alot more...nothing-ness but lol fun fun :) kinda got the hang of skating back wards...i think ^^ after iceksating we went dinner then home time were i did some work and now i am le tired and will be going to sleep to charge up for a tiring week of school! yay! == just thinking about it makes me tired :P

Where is upendi?

Rice today :)
I actually really enjoyed it, I always like church/ religious singing, its always so epic and big... If you know wat I mean, like the songs when everyone sings it feels like your lifted in rejoicing :) or maybe that's just me ^^ but it was fun it kinda gave me more of a spirit, an aim, and I'm pretty sure it made me happier :D yay for rice! But idk about going again... Idr?! I just said I enjoyed it, why not go again? Lol it's kinda funny if you hear my reason :P anyway long day and I really had fun ^^ and Jaye I always knew but I got to see it myself :) so its all cool

to the beautiful you~

so i couldnt help myself but to start watching to the beautiful you, and i would just like to say *SQUEAL!* minho is like OXYGEN MAGNESIUM!! (heehee if you get it, if not SHAME ON YOU!) and he is like...sooooo~ copper tellurium! :D oxygen potassium ill stop :D but yer i would just like to state that, to the beautiful you is like REALLY REAlly good :) actually...not really ^^ thats a hyperbole :P ok now im just weird :P...study is quite boring :( and im not sleepy!!! AMAZING! :D anyway back to the drama, the first ep was...ok i guess since i watched 2 other versions most of the time im just watching to see whats the difference...and to stare at minho's beautiful face:) but one thing that i can get over is the ost songs for this drama, like normally im not like obsessed with the ost songs until half way into the drama where they come out more often but like first ep and im already listening to them on repeat! THEY ARE REALLY GOOD! but i cant find the song i really like from the drama :( only a preview version :( but still! REALLY GOOD SONGS! and that is NOT a hyperbole :P <3 so my day today was...ok i guess, friday does not feel like friday :/ first period music was ok..we just did an aural paper, then english we got all our assessment backs == i did ok i guess :) then double physics i did so much work1!!!! :D and now im in the study...and chem after..yay! :) the orchestra :) then home and...yerrrrr

Wow i can't believe it... I only got one year... And now it bye bye... One year isn't that long... But who knows what the future holds

that one moment, when no matter how hard you try you cant forget, you just want to re-live that moment over and over again. where everything was perfect, everything was just the way you wanted <3 where even the very things you dislike because good because of that person :) when will that ever happen again....

a tuesday like the rest

my day? great actually! :) maths was...eh the same as ever, music was full of fun as always :D when its composition and musicology work... :P then religion bludge :D then roll was about electing leaders for next year...yer lunch was fun :) listened to jessie tara and the 2 yr 7s play Eine kleine Nachtmusik pssh the yr 7s are no where as good as tara and jessie :) cant wait to here tomorrow :D i enjoy it so much (Y) made my day :D then study was very productive (Y) did most of my maths :D then english were i did my maths again cause english teacher was marking extension orals :) so alot of maths today :) tomorrow i guess is an ok day :) re, maths eng music and maths and physics....:D not to bad :D lol and i also decided out of nowhere that i would go to rice this year :) ive never been but all my friends go, thought i might give it a try before im old ^^ although...i dont know whether uni students still go to these things ^^ so yer rice next saturday :) which is ok cause i only have the physics essay on friday :D tomorrow is practice yet again, although..... :/ by this stage... sigghhhh why are my feet so retarded maybe i should try "proper" shoes? meh we'll see tmoorrow :D on repeat all day <3 and this ^^ *wink**wink* (nudge, nudge) :P

im-perfection

i cant just wait around forever... maybe its time to forget and move on to the more important things in life.... oh how i wish things were different ................... everyone says "do something that you enjoy and that your good at" what if im not good at anything? what if that is all i do in life? what do i do then?! i hate life. atm its not looking very bright.

Why is it sooooo hard to get over you :(

i can not believe...i miss you THAT much...how is that possible!! ==' un.be.li.eve.able! <3

201st post!

:( why.....why...! i hate listening to english music now == but its all i can listen to! :( its so....addictive but it wont stop reminding me.... :( i miss it so much... like.... if i could live any time again it would be then, there, it was...kinda perfect but life is life, that will never happen, but being here i feel like theres an empty space inside of me, and i have no idea what im supposed to do.... no matter how i try ho matter how many times i tell myself..i know its not going to be the same. man im so stupid :( but enough with the depression :D i guess today was an alright day... it was FREEZING! in the morning == it kinda? got better but LOL! i got an iceblock at lunch...idk i just felt like one :D classes today were ok...nothing horrible..but nothing super fun... :/ then day ended, met up with emily to walk down to the uni, then study was done, then just made my bus home :) yay! got home...and basically sat here listening to all those american songs.... dammm those songs! why are you so addictive! tomorrow bludge day! maybe i should finish my maths in time for wednsday ^^ the class test, then start my eng thing...since im busy fri, sat and sun :/ hmmmmmm lets hope activities stop after opera house.... :/ so i guess it didnt happened but who am i kidding *** ******** ***** **** **** ** ** ******...................

all of those fairy tales are full of it, one more stupid love song ill be sick

I totally forgot.... I'm not needed anymore, how am I so stupid ==

Headaches all over again

Why does the future have to be so frustrating. Every time I think about the future I always get the biggest headaches! Do I really want to go to uni? What good will it do? What will I do there? So many questions that I can never answer myself, even with peoples advice it just doesn't help!? What is wrong with me!!! I just want to lay here and do nothing >< cause it's just to confusing.



Things are changing but I can't do anything to change it back to wat they used to be :/ I hope your happy :) I know what to do now :/

one week

so its been a week since i came back and...hmm not reallly any different :/ i still wish i was on holidays, but...that would not happen.... anyway today was kevins birthday thing! yaay! hahah twas really fun :) lol kevin just walked straight passed my tree ^^ but lol when he found me he liked scared me to death == it was fun but it was so cold >< stupid person for leaving my jacket at crossover, so i played the first 2 games freezing >< but then lunch break i went back to crossover to get it back, but in the end...i still got a cold...not good, not good at all, i guess it was purely from today, the dramatic climate change from china and sydney might have played some part :/ oh wells i hope i get better soon, ate medicine as soon as i came home :) so i guess i should be fine? today was really fun :) i really enjoyed it, i hope everyone did :) especially kevin :D tomorrow is le monday, the day of last minute cramming for the maths test tuesday :P oh how fun....idk...there seems that there isnt much i can do now but just cram and hope for the best..i didnt touch work for a whole month... i cant blame anyone else so...yer.. i just hope i get more right then the 2 unit one :/ maybe i should sleep well tonight so tomorrow im not.... sick-ish? so i can fully concentrate :D

first day back

first day back! hmmm, didnt feel much different actually, today was kinda a blugde..... i had religion first which as you all know.... sleep ^^ then music which is never anything really hard but..i need to find 2 pieces...and fast too >.< then i had a sex/rape education talk for like 2 hours, HE WAS HILARIOUS! he went on a tangent at one point but i was laughing so hard at it my stomach hurt :D he was asking us "how we evolved so much more then guys, that we have all synced our bladders together" :P get it!!! TROLOLOLOL he said so many funny things lol best talk ever, ^^ then after we had music again we did more composition stuff and yay! next wednesday we get to go see a chorus line ^^ im so excited :D also its a wednesday :) so i can right a note to go co straight after wards ^^ yay! :P after music i had chem...eh what a big pile of **** i had no idea what was happening, they had started a experiment before going on holidays to find the difference in density of water and ice, there was the experiment in front of me...I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO, lol i was so lost >.< lets hope it gets better ^^ after i walked to the uni with emily cause she had to get to kingsford, it was a nice walk but it was torture! torture i tell you! hmph. so yer i got home did more unpacking and now... trying to prepare >< eh stuff 2 unit! anyway...tomorrow kinda another blugde day ^^ we shall see what tomorrow brings! :P .....when i heard that it was like you ripped a whole, and you may not even know i cared

4 flights down one more to go, the one home

Now I'm back in china after a great 20ish days in America and Canada, I would have to say... I really really enjoyed it :) I didn't actually want to leave Canada! I like the place a lot, to me it's much like sydney except much cleaner :) and ALOT of people are really really nice :) but now I'll have to brace myself for a whole lot of failing:/

5 more days :/ I'm I happy about it or not? Hard to say.....

.... I'm totally falling behind

My shipping experience

O.M.G! The super market here is so.....cool!! Let's just say its like a priceline, Coles, bread top, fish market, Asian grocery, hot dollar, flower shop and heaps more! AND everything is so much nicer! It's so high tech too! The vegetable ally has automatic sprinklers that keep the vegetables fresher and their refrigerators have side lights that light up only if you walk pass the door, everything is like super sized and for less money too!!! Hahah I could live my whole life just going to that one store :), I'm going to put some photoes but I don't know when they will turn up so... Yer :) really cool super market, it really is super ;)

IVE TRIED SO MANY TIMES!!! AND IVE HAD ENOUGH! IM NOT GOING!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh~

so i ended up going out today :/ despite being super tired from last night, i went out because of ********************************************* im not saying im angry...but eugh, your choice just hope you didnt do anything bad... anyway i didnt mind heading out today anyway, cause to you and talleegra...(how ever you spell it) was on :) to you was fun :) i enjoyed it and it went pretty fast, but teshiahifhaewhf blah class took forever! i guess i cant blame new people but...still.... anyway i learnt both dances then jaye and i went to get lunch, we went to the jap place on a corner on the lnc street it was one of those sushi train type of style, it was nice :) i liked their sushi (Y) must go back so other time ^^ then we headed back to the studio and ellyn was there! with her new hair.... hmmm yes ellyn i am "indifferent" about it :) i decided to head home a bit earlier and picked up a few things before leaving for canada, bus came late :/ but i got home about 6:30 and good thing to, it started pouring just as i started blogging ^^ yay! for good timing :) 3 more days... :/ excited? not really :/ i guess tomorrow will be a packing day, tuesday normal school and wednesday! then thursday..i still dont know if i should go to school :/ busy busy busy! :D

Are you warm tonight? :)

looking back

:( looking through pass photos...i think, wow so much has changed :( for the better or the worst? i cant tell :( so many good moments spent together and it seems....we dont anymore :( this saddens me alot, in the photos we all had so much fun! so busy day tomorrow, and boo...i organised something on sunday == now... eugh all hw has to be done on monday and lol i still havent packes ^^

a really good day :)

so today i woke up early, early enough for me to catch the bus..but didnt... so... yer maybe tuesday :) but yes woke up early got to school decided to get a hot chocolate because it was super cold ^^ then had first period music TROLOLLO the stupid music prac teacher, after we had english, we had a sub :) never seen this sub before, got an essay so...i guess ill have to write one before i leave == after english double phyics LOL "what are the best ways to distract miss tapp?" we began the lesson hearing about course in uni, and how everything works took up quite a bit of time ^^ then work was actually done and finally an unexpected experiment as one of my class mates asked how a light can be turned on and off with 2 switchs :) no body got it in the end, cause apparently the light has to turn off when you hold both of them == lol we kept short circuiting our power pack :D physics went fast, then i had a study were i watched ABDC i dont like the top 2...but oh wells, then i had chemistry again and I UNDERSTAND NOW!@!!! i actually know what i was doing, hope the rest of it isnt that hard :/ using avogadro isnt that hard ^^ and the number isnt that hard to remember either :) then end of the day~ i decided to go orchestra today cause its my last friday before leaving OMG! i cant believe im going to miss out on it :( i mean ive always loved it when we play pirates of the carribean in class and thats only with 2 violins a piano and a flute, but THE WHOLE ORCHESTRA! IT WAS SPECTACULAR! definately the highlight of the show! maybe its not THAT good, since i went in there thinking that it was going absolutely horrible because everyone tells me they are really bad at it, but i concur! really good :) better then what i expected :) but...lol after the flute solo it went all bad :( lol until the very last note with the drum roll BANG! SO GOOD! i really want to hear a finished recording :) so after orchestra, dispite it being a bit chilli i decided to walk to the uni and catch the bus there, i wasnt in a hurry so i did ^^ got home at 5:30 the went straight to sleep :P woke up at 8 and decided to blog :) yay? hahah tomorrow i was going to take 12 class..but its not teen top so..yer 5 more days :/

here we go again

i havent felt this for a very long time, sure ive gone down this road but not this far, not as far as when theres no possible way back, last time there was you, which i dont want to admit but yes, i cant but just smile, you were great and i really thank you :) you helped me ALOT maybe thats one of the advantages, but yes i really want to thank you, last time you saved me from falling deeper, but i doubt you will read this... lol theres no way :) this time round its harder to get through, i dont know how i will survive the next month, its so empty, cold, and with this weather, it doesnt make it better, its so hard to find a reason to live, a reason to try harder, is there a point? no one really cares, my parents hate me, my sisters dont care at all, you say that but it doesnt really concern you, theres no point to anything. maybe..this holiday would be good for me.... maybe...im still not sure, will it just bring more unhappiness and stress? or give me a break? what you said today is totally right, some people can do it, others cant, i can...most of the time ^^ sometimes it gets hard to, but normally i can live by it. but i dont blame her for it, we are human not robots :) im sure you do sometimes too so why all the hate! :P but...how long can this **** last? when will it were away? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!i dont want to anymore! being a teenager is horrible.... but i must say...its just thinking ^^ im sure ill be fine in the morning, maybe posting this will cut me away from this....i think lol :) but i hope you are doing well :) and yer ..... thoughts be gone!

do you believe in ******?

so today, normal ish, first period study YAY! for actually doing work! i completed 2 chapters lol... it didnt take that long actually ^^ then a had english which was work work work but nothing really sinks in ^^ then after recess i had actually maths, LOL BEST LESSON EVER! our teacher is horrible! she got the rule wrong and a classmate corrected her and she was told to "open the door and come into our world" cause clearly our teacher is right and she is wrong but NO! she was the one that got it wrong lol and blamed it on being distracted by the previous rule, DUDE! they are 2 totally different rules == lol then she went on to do an example and lol at the beginning of the lesson she said "Dont you dare touch that calculater! you should all know your cubics and quartics up to 5! no excuses!" and end of the lesson 64 turns into 4^4...the whole Asian corner...lol whut? heehee even i knew that wasnt right ^^ then we told her she wrote it wrong and she was like...OH!!! woops got a bit confused there and rights 3^4 WRONG AGAIN MISS!!! trolololol and WE HAD TO DO THE QUESTION FOR HER~! == some teacher she is :) well it wasnt very hard..so meh :P physics next and I ACTUALLY LEARNT SOMETHING!! yay! im enjoying physics way more then chemistry...which is kinda weird...lol :P heehee speaking of chemistry CARMEN! i started avogadro :P well...sorta...it was for homework..homework which i havent looked at :P after physics i had double music, i was so tried by the end i fell asleep which was alright cause i was listening to good music ;) didnt head to the library today cause...lol i didnt have much maths homework ^^ miss was to carried away and only gave us question 1 and 2 :P and we dont have maths til tuesday WAHAHAH!! :D tomorrow friday... then saturday then sunday then monday then tuesday then wednesday then...im gone :/ hmmmmmmmmmmm :( i dont want to gooooo

Bright new dayyyy :)

lol...

just stop thinking!!!

lol....i get later and later..maybe i should not...lol first period religion...i couldnt fall asleep :/ so i just drew on stuff ^^ after i had music which was prac so...nothing really, after music i had maths...not very interesting...im starting to get behind again ^^ lol so i havent started any maths this week.... what am i doing!!! >< after we had a roll period which was nothing... then music again, and it was prac again so.... nothing really :) yay! i got a recording (Y) hahah but still needs work, lol i wonder how it will sound with the whole orchestra :P after music i had chemistry, i was so tired..i fell asleep :/ and lol missed the whole pouring, woke up at the bell to find outside absolutely horrible! definately woke me up, i didnt end up going to library as it was way to cold, so i went home, the bus was alright but :/ when i got off...it was absolutely horrible == it was cool cause my fingers were frozen...i could move them ^^ and got soaked :) i guess it wasnt THAT bad but lol hope it doesnt happen again :/ did nothing after i am so un-motivated into doing anything.... new favourite song!...for the moment ^^ i hope i find something to work towards :/ wish i could just be lifted out of this sighhhhhhh another day tomorrow and it will be exactly a week

im so lost.. is it like impossible for me to be doing one thing right? == there is only one solution...well more but one that i want to do :/

not much time left

today is monday >< just 7 days... :/ well i woke up extremely tired, then made my way to school, first period physics was.... good :) i actually did work! :) then i had religion..i swear i am invisible or something, the girl behind me had her laptop open (so did i) she got yelled at and had to put the laptop down....but she didnt say anything about me...lol and my friend got in trouble for sleeping....hmmm...weird...oh wells she doesnt know my name anyway ^^ then after recess i had english and maths, i fell asleep in english >< they we giving back advice on our english papers...yer i fell asleep..should have listened though ^^ oh wells, i got an ok mark anyway :) hahah kevin :P then i had maths, normal..nothing interesting, lunch went really fast then i had double chem, the lesson went quite fast and lol we got put into a setting plan but really...now we are in yr 11...and its elective classes... everyone is friends with everyone, so setting plans dont really work..lol im in between my two good friends...i have no issues with this setting plan :) after chem, emily wanted to walk so i walked with her down to anzac parade, 1. its never going to happen so stop talking about it 2. yes i know im weird like that but...i cant do anything about it == 3. :/ i dont know either all i know is (1)234 (1)2345678 1(2)3 (1)(2)(3) (1)(2)34567 12(3)45 1(2)3 (1)23 (1)(2) and 4. it's weird right? , i really want to have an a epiphany so i can sorta understand yer so emily got to her bus stop and i got to mine...it was weird weather today :/ the bus came quickly and i spent the whole bus ride home trying the 25 levels on doors, and I WAS ON A ROLL! :P i finished all of them...except the last one ^^ got home and...lol fell asleep didnt do much for the rest of the night so im going to leave it as that :)

To the next one!!

Today was fun :) no regrets, happy with this ending :)

tired.

TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED.TIRED. incase i didnt make it obvious, i am very tired :( so...yes i think im going to go to sleep ^^...which is bad because i didnt do ANY homework :( physics/chem and ALOT of maths to do ^^ hahah its piled up to 5 chapters, and tomorrow it will be 7 :P oops, and english homework...it just keeps coming ^^ oh wells, i hope i get eveything done before i leave, cram time! :D so today i had maths-boring then english lol our teacher wasnt very happy with how much work we do in class...im sorry for not understanding a word shakespeare wrote! then after i had maths again HORRAY for finishing a whole chapter :) its fun working together and getting the answer together, feels like you accomplished something :D after maths i had chemistry, we learnt about the atom and miss showed us electrons jumping across air and a vaccum tube thing :) it was....ok like i wouldnt say it was the most amazing experiment ever but..still cool :) after we had music, we got our exams back ^^ i got 20/30 :) im happy with that :D over all i get a 81% for my report, i think its pretty good :) higher then any of my other subjects :P lol through out my exam i spelt voice as "vioce" :D after we got our exams back sir gave us a very very inspiring speech :( makes me want to do more with my life :( i feel that im just going down down down deep into the unknown :/ so after music RELIGION! yes i slept :) but it was ok, because we were just watching a documentary on the aztecs...turns out its the same documentary we watched in yr 8 when we learnt about the aztecs in history :) so time well spent (Y) i didnt go the library today because i left my maths text book at home :/ so i decided to come home....BAD IDEA....well maybe...tomorrow...maybe i should not head in so early and go library.... sounds like a good idea :) GASP! i know!! :D kekeke im so smart ^^ ill kill 2 birds with one stone.... lol is that even the saying...well anywho :) YES! all things sorted :) hope everything goes smoothly :) 1 more day :) and then less then 2 weeks :(

eeeeep

busy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busy busy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busybusy busy busy busy :( not fun. so first period maths and music, boring and more boring, we have prac teachers for music, THEY ARE SO eww....... they dont seem to like us, well WE DONT LIKE YOU EITHER! hmph. we have our ways of being in class so GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM! dont bother us. HMPH. after we were supposed to have a lecture on self defence...but the guy didnt turn up LOL so we just sat there for the whole lesson, and then we had roll, eh 4 excersises of maths to do >< after roll i had a study so i attempted to do most of maths...didnt work, i did some? :) then english we had a sub...lol no work done, then library time, i did a good 2 hrs of maths, finished 3 of the 4 excersises ^^ yay! then mum came to pick me up...this wasnt planned but hahah good timing :) i mean all those times i was "at the library" she didnt pick me up but when i actually go she comes and picks me up, shows that i was actually at the library ;) kekekeke well got home, attempted to learn g.na only got half it, but i guess i should start on my essay now :) hhahah i have a religion assessment tomorrow :) and...i dont know a thing...as normal ^^ lol if i get 15+ again this time... that will be funny :) the one that has never brought a religion book to class and the one that never listens always sleeping.... :P we shall see how it goes tomorrow :) :) off to study religion and... >< tomorrow is wednesday practice practice practiceeeeeee should i skip physics? :/ also :( 2 more weeks

stabbed in the back.

im failing every aspect of life....and its not fun :( wish i could just die away...not do anything.... life is not fun at all, not fun... especially when bad things happens... why cant there be at least a place where all things are perfect, no worries, no thoughts, nothing...just...impossible i guess today was a pretty bad day... :/ oh wells, tomorrow should be a busy one so..sleep time?

Busy busy day

So tired >< but I feel like blogging :) so today I woke up made my way to crossover, got there, no one turned up to the 12 class so no class soon 1:15 power class was on, dance break learnt HORRAY? :P after class it was practice :( very tiring then it was you're the one practice so tired from power, I don't know how you do it Jaye:( its so tiring, after I went to get food, new found favourite food :) oden's mince meat rice thing :) so good ^^ then went to get a chatime cause they give 15% off with oden :) ate the soon the kpop battle started it was fun watching :) had a really good time, after crossover start to clear out and I bboy trained :) yes you read correctly :) I learnt the baby freeze and the six step SO HARD :( would need to practice it more :( then I decided to go home got to the bus stop earlier so I took another bus and to my surprise Justin and danna was on the bus too :) danna soon got off but I had a nice talk with Justin :) lol the bus driver was playing celin Dion really loudly :) bus ride went fast got home around 9:30 then got ready for bed, now it's night night time :) good night :D

when will it be me?

so today was a sorta depressing day...maybe people were just in a bad mood, oh wells..it got better now so i guess thats the most important thing ^^ piano was normal, i found my yr 11 pieces and half of my yr 12 :) now to actually practice them ^^ after mum couldnt take us home, so i had lunch/breakfast with my sister, then took the bus home, got home then worked cause mum wasnt home yet, then after mum got home, continued the house work, then got ready for bed then LOL why? O.o was this a sign? hahah i really really like it ^^ but..i would never use it :/ well i would use one...but maybe not this one in particular ^^ but still fun :) but i still wonder...when will it be me ^^

ouch :/

interesting and fun night ^^

survival with manderins

so today i got...ALOT of sleep...yet i get light headed when i run down the stairs....not a good thing i guess :/ this morning woke up got to school like another day, religion first period, lol i thought "nah i got so much sleep last night, no way i can fall asleep now" wrong whitney, i did ^^ she is just soo boring!!!! after relgion was english, work work work as always, but the period went by fast :/ after that it was phsyics and chem, double tapp :) physics we help set up a yr 9 exam, it was a prac lol see we got this list of stuff, and we set it up, twas fun :) then chemistry...not so fun but meh. after lunch i had a study...lol i was so determined to get work done..but wrong AGAIN i slept ^^ maths was POINTLESS!!! lol we are doing log and SHE TOOK FOREVER TO EXPLAIN THE RULES! she started writing up all the logs based 10, 2 and 3...and in the end all just to explain the rules.... HAHAHAH we learnt some retarded POINTLESS but funny rule ^^ the BAP rule ;) its so we remember logb A = P so b is base, a is answer and p is power :P but yer...pointless... but lol and most of us asians had already learnt the rules else where with our tutors and our teacher changed all the terms so it would fit the BAP rule, so we had stuff like logbB= 1 and so on...and lol it was so funny, i whisper to jessie "my tutor taught log a" jessie said yer so did mines, 2 girls in front turns around mine too from behind "i learnt log a too" ...slience then all giggle :P we are sooooooo cool :P maths....SIGH after maths i decided against going crossover, i was tired and i hadnt brought clothes to change into so there will be no point :/ got home and slept... :/ didnt wake up till 8, then i found out that class was cancelled, so.. :/ but OH NOEESSSS :( horrible news :( very very very very worried :(

all for one! and one for all!

it seems days past and everyday seems to have lost meaningless...as i aim to do stuff, that stuff is not done...the day becomes meaningless.... ...maybe i should really head to the library after school, since at the moment that is the only place i can do work :/ i am always so tired all the time :/ earlier sleeping time? doesnt really help.... i still continue to doze off in...places :) why do i have to be so stupid == tomorrow is wednesday, crossover? idk personally i do not like the song actually...i dont really know it and i REALLY cbb to bring a change of clothes + shoes...i know ^^ first world problems :P but such an effot! but... i dont think i would be heading in on sunday, as mum will not let me out cause of last sunday :P but i have to head in on friday :/ tomorroow................. :/ i need to learn all of power and all of you're the one...FUN :/ ill see if renee wants to go == yes... she wants to come back to dancing..which i strongly recommended not wednesday as we tend to go faster...and really she wouldnt like the song but... she wont know unless she comes :/ idk her choice tired tired tired.... WHY :( you make me sad :( on the bright side, friday is athletics carnival :) finally get a chance to wear it ^^...but it means maybe travelling to crossover in it... :/ lol

theres more to it :/

<3

the better of days

so this morning i woke up feeling so much better then i did last night ^^ the fever and died and i did feel cold and hot randomly :) horray for quick recovery :) although maybe it was cause of all the sleep i did ^^ so i woke up, got to school normally, i kept on thinking it was tuesday today...lol anyway i had first period maths we were going through our maths exams, wasnt really paying attention didnt really want to look at my mark :/ then after maths we had english, alot was done but most of it...i dont remember ^^ :P after english maths again, same as always, then after maths chemistry but the teacher wasnt here so most of us werent doing the work set..well at least the music people werent ^^ chemistry lesson was an outdoor lesson ^^ hahah yay for a nice sub :) after chemistry it was music, speeches were done and HEEHEE i got 10/10 :) which is the first thing i actually did right...although lol my speech was so not a formal speech, 60% of it was the class laughing about what i said and me and the teacher arguing about what i mean :P lol "sir....you asked WHITNEY...to SING it??!?!?!?!" in the end 10/10 all good :) thats a 12.5% in the bag ;) after was just religion, i didnt sleep ^^ but i didnt do work either :P i kinda just...sat there and stared into space ^^ lol some yr 7's phone was going off in their locker and it was ONE DIRECTION! sooo funny, and the ringtone went on FOREVER! i swear it played the whole song == but fun fun fun :) today was kinda a good day i wonder how tomorrow will go :)

not the best time

i feel like im about to die >< and just in time for tomorrow too == also I FAILED EVERYTHING! i swear its hopeless nothing can help me now, i just want to sit here and do absolutely NOTHING >< b abhhbhbh

when your heart gets pulled out, ripped into tiny pieces, then stepped upon, until you left with nothing but dust... its not an enjoyable experience, WHY MUST YOU DO IT!

我是什麼... ？ ...我根本沒有實際價值......

last day of "freedom"

so today was the last day of my exams, tomorrow, after around 2 weeks, will be the first day i have a full day of classes...joy:) well at least i dont have chemistry or physics tomorrow ^^ today was the orals, i went 6th cause they were going in alphabetical order, my group was k-p, i got it done and over with, the first half i was sleeping the second half i was playing temple run :) i broke my high score of 3000 and now its 5000 yay! :) orals ended at 1 so i decided to walk to anzac parade to catch the bus home, but ended up meeting carmen at her modsoc stand ^^ on the way there i ran into elena and kevin :) then i sat with the modsoc people for a while, hahahah so funny watching them hand out flyers ^^ then 2 oclock came and bec came and the 3 of us went to some place with a dance studio :) it was cool watching them ^^ then soon it was 4 and class was over :) people went to attend their lectures, while other lazy people did not, instead they got a chatime and was stubborn >.< anyway i got home really tired..well on the bus i was ^^ lol i feel asleep, but all the tiredness all went away when i got home...weird :P so tonight is kinda my last night of "freedom" until i get back into my daily routine again :/ or maybe shall i hold it off till after this week ^^ since i get an early mark wednesday, i have a wedding this friday and there karaoke on sunday :/ i wouldnt imagine being able to do stuff in between but SO MUCH MUSIC STUFF!! musicology, music aural, music performance >< all need to be done :P fun fun ^^

at least i have you

如果全世界我也可以放弃 至少还有你值得我去珍惜 而你在这里就是生命的奇迹 也许全世界我也可以忘记 就是不愿意失去你的消息 你掌心的痣我总记得在那里

today was fun :)

so i woke up this morning to pick up my grandparents from airport then we went out for yumcha :) yumcha was had and then it was piano time ^^ eh...i really need to start practicing >< but im so lazy all the time then i headed to the city, it was around 4 so i guessed jaye was at kco where my bus stop was, so i stopped by to see and he was still teaching! i saw the students i taught before (Y) they were still as nice as i remember, then jaye decided to go get a haircut, IN KOREATOWN!!! i didnt even know it was korea town, i just thought it was the part of the street with heaps of korean shops ^^, it didnt take as long as my hair cuts ^^ maybe cause i have longer hair :P then we headed back to co, kpop people were still there!! :) hahah funny stuff was done yay i finally learnt you are the one :) yes yes yes oppa? do it for summit you say!? :P then people left and staff began coming, we went to hotplate, lol mum calls telling me she is on the way to pick me up...but i havent even ordered yet :/ lol well dinner was had, leslie you were on a roll tonight! lol sah funny ^^ had a great time at dinner then we headed back to the studio, YAY! i finally got to hear it :) it was really really really good :) i cant wait till the day :) then after alot of random old chinese songs were "sang" then fun was had just lying in studio one :) fun fun but tomorrow back to work :( tired nowwww :/

Hey! i just met you!

NEW FAVOURITE SONG! ;) if we went kay on sunday would have so played this first :) so today i woke up, did chores then headed to chatswood with parents :) had mother daughter lunch as dad was in a acupuncture appointment :) we went to some shanghai place :) it was nice, then i took her to get frozen yoghurt, wanted to get their green tea again, but sadly :( noooo they changed it to banana =.= so we got passion fruit mums favourite, lol found out something really interesting ^^ if only she brought it :( then we walked around and then it was home time, fell asleep on the way,woke up when we were close to home, turns out there was a traffic jam... parents werent to happy but what can you do, i did other random stuff..and heehee hee ^^ :(

beyond tomorrow...

there seemed to be alot of talk about my future today, and really...i have no idea. im still not 100% sure that nursing is what i want to be :/ i think this other idea would be much more enjoyable for me..but is it a really good goal in life? :/

lol its tuesday ^^

lol so this morning i woke up humming the tune of babysteps but i was humming with english lyrics that seemed to be the right lyrics...but lol i thought...how do i know english lyrics... the songs in korean! i searched for an english song and lol turns out i knew the english one ages ago, and just didnt join the 2 ^^ well personally i will always like the original but snsd's cover is pretty good too :) so the whole day i practiced piano, did some chores, studied and really blobbed around :) goal still in mind, i will start after exams start. and this one i will definately start :) i swear ^^ tomorrow i have ext maths in the morning, only an hour exam :/ i hope thats enough timee i wouldnt imagine how it will go ive never done an exam paper before :/ dont feel to good about it either :/ i hope there are alot of trig questions :) there were only 2 in the 2u paper :/ after maths a 3hr break and i have chemistry, im just really excited to get chemistry done and over with :) then 4 day weekend! yay! :) :) english oral moved to monday which means more time to write it! :) :) i keep forgeting tomorrow is wednesday :/ lol welllllll more study?? :/

a day to remember

so this morning i woke up, felt normal as ever, made my way to school, got to school, wasnt really freaking out about the exam, got in the exam room, did the exam, and i must say nothing was extremely hard, everything was understandable it was just the matter of doing everything correctly, i hope i did alright :/ after the exam i started my hike to the city ^^ so i walked down to unsw from my school, and all the way up anzac parade, to oxford st then down oxford street into the city, i got to the city at 1 and then had lunch, :)after i went to the studio to bum around before heading home, i got home at exactly 6 when i found out that mum had made plans with grandma to have her mothers day dinner, at first i felt really bad cause i just ate and everything... so we decided to go to my uncle;s resturant in beverly hills...we didnt get to eat until 9:30 and we got there around 7:45 == well we cant blame him, he was the only cook out of everyone :/ so good job uncle! it was so funny waiting for food though :) after dinner we drove grandma home, heard the most hilarious story about my sister's horrible chinese, HILARIOUS i couldnt stop laughing ^^ soon i got home and now i am really tired ^^ should head to bed soon :) tomorrow is a free day! yay! well not really, i have to study maths ^^ and a bit of chem cause wednesday i have a 3hr break between them :) then exams over! and only the oral left ^^ which i still need to write :) thank you so much, its not like i dont feel bad enough already! :(

****iness

sooo today i decided to head out to crossover instead of studying ^^ i wasnt planning to take any classes, but i ended up helping jaye teach power and then since i already started dancing i ended up taking zandro's class with dan and david, i was planning to after my exams...but since they were already taking it and i wasnt doing anything i took class, the routine wouldnt be me favourite routines... i didnt like it very much but it was fun ^^ especially the YOOUUUU part ^^ lol...i searched the lyrics up...turns out the song is by rihanna... not going to mention the name... :) but >.< after zandros we went playground! but before that, people went to get random foods, i got bread top ^^ yay...well actually no...the one time i eat it leads to me dieing, its a sign....i shouldnt eat anymore. mafia was played YUKI! i told you you should believe me!! i was quite obvious that i was dumbledore and that we should all kill dan! people had to leave so i headed back to the studio to grab my jacket to head home...lol i got back jaye just finished class then we had a mini jam session, and did all the songs that came onto shuffle, i soon left for the bus, i thought i would have missed my 6:45 bus cause i only got the bus stop at 6:55 was planning to catch an alternative bus but yay! the bus was late! so i caught my bus home ^^ got home quite fast i arrived at exactly 7:15 maybe cause the bus was late everyone else assumed they were late for the bus and took another one ^^ on the bus to hk guys were talking about girls.... and really?! i took a glimpse and oh please, you guys arent really good looking i dont know what type of girls like you! both of you are so rude and just...no. i feel so sorry for the girls :/ wish they would wake up and see what these 2 truely are, the bus driver was really nice and said have a good night when i got of the bus ^^ got home and yes... resume life.

一個新的開始

i thought i was stronger then that, i always was but idk.. now its different, is it cause ive been thinking alot lately? maybe exam stress? idk, im kinda scared i have no idea what to do anymore, just sitting here i start wondering what i am actually doing and why i am here. i know your angry, i was never as smart as my sisters,and never will, yet i go out nearly most the time, and i cant really say its not my fault, but, i dont know what to do, why does everything have to be so hard, we all know the truth, and dont try to hide it, have you ever thought about why i stayed out so much? what being home meant to me? maybe i should stop going out so much... but i wouldnt imagine stop going to crossover, but thinking about it, all that will happen is...nothing really, just the thought of "oh she didnt come in" there isnt a real reason for me to be there, nothing will change dramatically if i didnt go, but staying at home, what good is that for me? well...i can already imagine it, its already starting... i dont want to return to my old self again :( but i havent completely headed into the direction i was going for, i say i was only closest 60% there, now im slowly returning...and i really want to do something about that... but i can back out now...to many things to do, kpop summit, charity concert, not being here for a month will affect this badly :/ i dont know why your so angry with me.... what am i supposed to do! just cause you have no power...dont take it out on me i cant believe you! you have absolutely no manners around the house, you help with absolutely nothing! yet its always you you you! i would never let myself do wat you do every day. the disadvantages of being the eldest. its settled. no more till then!.

mr.black belt

eh so today i had my physics exam...yay! its over:) alot of funny cramming in the morning the exam went pretty fast, and i was out of the exam room by 10:45 :) went to the music rooms to practice piano, then after a while, got lunch :) i really did eat! :D and then time pasted and decided to make my way to crossover... idk crossover time went really fast day :/ maybe cause i really wasnt there for long :) got home pretty early and stuff was dicuss problems were sorted out and i fell asleep ^^ haaha i slept from 9-1 and now..i am awake with nothing to do :) twas a nice time today....a time of....non studying and stress? it was nice to just sit. :) thank you :)

a day wasted...now i am going to fail

so i woke up normal school time this morning to go to school to pick up my physics book to study today, i got to school, quickly made it to my locker LOL, my locker is right outside a room right? and my year co-ordinater was teaching in there, the thing is...i didnt know if i was allow at school... so i wore my uniform just incase ^^ worst thing was my locker is a metal locker IT MADE SO MUCH NOISE! good thing she didnt notice. lol i totally forgot and banged my locker shut :/ lol i left quickly incase someone starts questioning my presence. after i got home and slept again ^^ i listened to power all the way through and woke up right on the dot. 12. :) well kinda not good cause i was going to meet jaye at 1 to check out a place for kpop summit, so i was a little late :/ soo stuff was done, more studio stuff then mistakes were made :( NEVER TELL ME TO DO ANYTHING AGAIN! ill just mess it up :( so i decided to leave at 5:30 to the library to study for physics...i got to the library at 6:30...studied for an hour then got my mum to pick me up ITS NO USE! PHYSICS JUST WONT WORK FOR ME!:( i didnt want this to happen :( the plan for now is to read the text book and sleep straight in the hope that everything will just sink into my brain :) i hope that works ^^ its the only thing i have left :(

tiring ^^

sooo today was kinda an interesting day ^^ first thing in the morning ENGLISH EXAM! yes i was done people already know how it went so not going to waste time to write it up again, basically i would say i wont be getting that 18/20 :) after the exam i headed to the city where i planned to have lunch with jaye, yes.....awkward is awkward == WHY!!!! studio stuff was done and soon people started coming ^^ printers were visited many times ^^ then soon class started, before class i was un-motivated and didnt feel like learning the dance but BOY WAS I WRONG! by the end of the night it was AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! :) after class short discussion was discussed and still..i dont know if we came to a decision lol ^^ oh wells we have 2 months, after was dinners ^^ yay for eating (Y) lol funny quarrel ^^ all good fun, all good fun, HA DAN! i knew gandalf and dumbledore we not the same person! :D after dinners i headed back to studio, told ellyn about sunday ^^ super excited! :) hahah then random bumming and lol ended the night singing deifying gravity i need to know the dialogue better :/ tomorrow is going to be an interesting day ^^ heehee physics on friday.... INTERESTING :)

exams tomorrow...totally NOT READY!

1. i know, its hard, it gets lonely sometimes and you cant do anything about it, but i really dont know what to do, i guess at this momment, nothing. just living life as it comes. i doubt that day will EVER come. seeing people around me, one by one, thats 3 new-ish ones, idk maybe that movie wasnt too good for me, but LOL seriously?! i would never understand, at least not now, but again maybe not ever, 2. i know you hate it when people say those things, but it cant be help. sometimes it can get annoying i find it annoying sometimes too, but i feel, every once and a while, everyone feels like expressing their thoughts and i kinda understand that 3. i hate you sometimes but sometimes i dont, i dont know whether i SHOULD hate you or shouldnt i, BOTH OF YOU ARE THE SAME! why do you guys have to be so ARGHHH, its so hard to pick a side, both of you can be so annoying at times, sometimes scary, but i dont know whether i hate you, :/ 4. i really really like you as a friend but sometimes YOU ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ME, and its always me that forgives and forgets, what you did today pissed me off SO MUCH more than the other day. WHY! 5. sometimes i dont know what to think, what am i supposed to do... are we starting to stop? i think the pressure of exams is getting to me...i dont show it really..but as soon as the door closes....break down.... I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE everyone is confusing to meeeeeeeee i dont know who to talk to anymore, everyones kinda gone :/

ahhhh

so i woke up early this morning cause renee said she need to go school early, i woke up got ready went up stairs to find NO ONE ELSE WAS AWAKE! == soon enough we left and yes :) got to school quite early, first period maths.... we spent the WHOLE lesson doing 5 questions...AND THEY WERENT EVEN HARD ONES just no one was bothered on a monday morning ^^ second period chemistry :( i feel asleep again I COULDNT HELP IT! i was just so tired :( lol i woke up when the bell went and all i heard was how to tell the difference between the endings ane ene and ine :) then i had english, lol emily and i were just whispering about stuff :) funny stuff and STUPID STUFF!! == never going to happen emily :) then i had religion, which i didnt realise i had cause then i would have totally slept in religion instead but :( i didnt, so i was wide awake in religion, i spent majority of the time talking about the avengers with one of my friends that has watched it :) then i watched our performance a couple of times then LUNCH! :) wow the day went fast, after lunch was maths again and boy i felt good! :) me and jessie zoomed through all the questions....well not exactly zoom but we finished first in our little asian corner :) it was fun working together, i could actually explain how to do questions to other people :) felt so good when i told them that thats not the answer and the real way to do it was in my work book CAUSE I GOT IT RIGHT :P haha i enjoyed that maths lesson ^^ after maths was physics :) and i learnt something! yay! home time was as normal LOL on the bus we and my friends we casually talking, i told them about how my mum is kinda ok with me going to tafe, not that i have any plans yet on wat to do but the situation was quite funny, my friends laugh and i couldnt help but notice YOU LAUGHED TOO!! lol whut? the whole bus ride it was the argument between dc or marvel? and other things such as whether the hunger games is really that good.. my friend believe that all the hunger games fans are just harry potter fans looking for something new to follow, lol then we started talking about sherlock cause the writer is the same writer as dr who :) and i asked "is sherlock and ironman the same person? YOU ALL KNOW WAT I MEAN RIGHT?P!!!! my friend thought i asked if sherlock and ironman were the same person as...literally the same person, but NO i was talking about the actor everyone laughed cause it was stupid AND YOU LAUGHED AGAIN! STOP LISTENING IN! you weird child == lol "you may kneel before ms edmenson" == what is she? some sort of queen!? must you word it like that, i walked home and i took faster then i remember it taking :/ lol got home lol went to sleep but like.... i had an alarm so i would wake up to start my essay BUT IT DIDNT GO OFF! so...i slept till 9 :( its ok ^^ religion tomorrow (Y) :P i dont think i would be able to take lucas class tomorrow :( but i feel bad :( maybe i should drop bye and say a good bye? he is such a nice person its sad to see him go :( i wish them the best for the future and hope he comes back soon to visit ^^ i cant imagine how hard it would be to leave this all behind, i know i couldnt :( I NEED TO STOP EATING SO MUCH!!! =.=

a moving work of art

lol its your fault...so dont complain.... i want to feel sorry for you, and to think in the past i did...but now i just laugh... you try too hard and... its quite funny watching things spiral, im really disliking this new side, and to think of the past really saddens me, oh well everyone takes a wrong turn in life, i hope the road i am on right now is the right one..i doubt it...:) but trying hard to enjoy the now lol.. today i woke up quite tired but i had a pretty easy going day actually... first period study lol i fell asleep sitting upright with my hands crossed head down...not the most comfortable position i must say :)second period english IT WENT SO FAST! :) time flies when you actually pay attention in class and do the work :) then i had maths and physics, maths was a revision lesson..but yer not much revision done..just going over some of the questions i didnt understand in the past papers, physics was fun :) first 20 minutes was miss telling us her wonderful adventure in lord howl island :) she was stuck there for 3 days, couldnt get back to sydney and thats why she was away for the first 3 days :) funny OH OH OH i got my physics test back :) ok as a raw mark..its not very good...its quite bad actually ^^ BUT if you compare it with the rest of the class i did pretty good :) i got a 40.5 out of 60 :) highest was 44.5 didnt bother asking for the lowest :) i think i might have come in the niddle of everyone :) im quite happy with it...could be better :) but...:) i shall aim higher.... :D it was funny going through the exam i dont remember the exact words she used but i remember: teacher: "some idiot didnt exclude the wrong record and her graph was all *yuk*" me: "........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" and then the whole class knew, that idiot was me :) fun fun fun, oh wells test was done and recorded :) after that i had double music twas ok-ish practiced romeo and juliet alot and jessie says its getting along :) like...its better then before :) yay for improvement! :) after school normal bus ride home came home ate a sandwich :) looked after my cousin then slept for a bit while listening to ukiss's new song SO GOOD! idk if it surpasses their other ballads but its definately my favourite song form this album...manly cause its the only ballad song... while i slept i downloaded memoirs of a geisha, i wanted to watch it again, ive watched it before but i totally forgot most of it, the reason why was cause it had won best film scores, i need to find a movie with good background stuff so i can talk about scenes for 10 minutes :) i think i might stick with narnia :) memoirs of a geisha has alot of asian based music :/ then after i watched that i watched clueless for english :) spending my time well :) i think i have just enough things to cover the stuff i wrote in my practice one :) good quotes (Y) but can i maintain the 18/20...i hope :/ so tomorrow is friday BUSY BUSY night :/ day before showcase i dont think the nervous-ness has hit me yet :/ oh noessss

I'm peach :)

Slow start to the day got up and showered thinking that I would get to city really early, early enough for touch but lol decided to turn on my computer and ended up finishing the rest of narnia and ended up being late for practice Lols :) so got there and everyone was change eurgh such a bother.. I didn't end up wearing wat I came in the whole day.. Lol practice was practiced .... I am now in Le boys too =.= a deals a deal. No heels!! :) so after nowadays twas my boyfriends history party that went really fast actually lol then IJGKd practice then dinner lol I think I had to much sugar :) back to the studio had a lot of fun lol Leslie :) and Kwan your so mean, ELLYN YOU TRADER!!!! Don't ever get ice cream with me again you and your ******* humph after most people left really really fun talk with jess and izzy...and jun lol white girl talk IT MAKES NO SENSE TO US :P mum came at 11:30 and now I am home Le tired and shall sleep now :)

I think im lost.....

Life kinda has no meaning anymore :/

A wasted holiday??

So it feels like forever since I opened my computer... I've been out early and home late for the past few nights all I do when I come home is shower and sleep :/ so today was a pretty long day yesterday was longer but I feel more tired atm :/ today I was planning to catch the bus out but mum was heading to the city so she dropped me off, got there at 12 earlier then I expected, did so random practices and idk history came pretty fast :/ history was practiced all good :) then IJGKd it's getting better yay!! The dinners yay! I had Kevin's usual ramen, a bit too thick for my taste but still nice :) learnt a lot about people :) then I headed back to the studio, certain things were discussed, stuff was done and yay dad came to pick me up at 11:30!! :) I swear after this week no more late nights :) my eye got worst later, when I got home it was really really red :/ renee was like ITS WORST THAN THIS MORING!! Lol oh wells, first day of school tomorrow to tired to think about it :/ I don't know how I feel about it actually :/ I didn't really waste my holiday :/ but I didn't use it completely wisely either :P so I'm tired should sleep now... Crap it's 1 :D night night time!

PARRTTTYYYY

so...blogger has a new look.... hmmm idk how i feel about this... so today was pretty tiring, woke up quite early to go library, was super tired but i still got up ^^ i made it to the uni at exactly 11 good thing? bad thing? idk, there were heaps of people coming out of classes so i was worried that the spot i was in wednesday was full and i would have no idea where else to go :D but it wasnt, i started my maths papers ehhh the extension exams are so annoyingly hard =.= so much probability that i cbb to do, so i had 5 exams and i finished 3 and a half of them for 3ish 4 hours that is pretty good ^^ david joined me in the middle of my study time and not long after elena joined too :) 3 o'clock came really fast and then we all headed to meet up with kevin who was in the red wing? am i right? im right arent i ^^ we caught the m10 but made the mistake of staying on the bus till world square, took ages for the bus to turn around to town hall :/ elena and i went to get bread top as i knew i wouldnt be eating later tonight so yay for being smart! :) made it back to the studio in time for party~~~~ twas a fun dance took so much energy :P hahah i was sooo planning to go home at 6 ish but LOL i didnt end up leaving until like 8ish :P nowadays was unfortunately practiced and VIDEOS WERE TAKEN that werent supposed to be taken, things were discuss and yay home time! luckily i didnt miss my bus ^^ and got home at 9 but :( part of my phone case fell off while i was getting off the bus and it is forever missing, i checked the grass that i walked through but nothing :( i am le sad, i really liked that phone case... IT DIDNT EVEN LAST THE HOLIDAYS :( saddness oh wells, i guess i should get a less.... that type of case :/ got home mum was semi angry but she was surprisingly fine afterwards and even better when i told her i would be going dance tomorrow morning before piano...lol piano.... im going to get in so much trouble from piano teacher :P and im going to have to skipp next week >.< busy busy busy, tired tired tired. but lol life will be so empty after upstaged....

nowadays

long day. really cant be bother to blog today...i dont know why ^^ yay! party tomorrow :)

aint no party like a catholic party~!!!

...the title has nothing to do with my day but..i just felt like singing it ^^ so today i woke up to the sound of lucas playing outside :) got up, ate breakfast, sprayed my hair, went down to the local news agency, walked home, got changed, then headed for amandas :)

yay! we were the first ones to get there..well technically not, people just left to get the other people who didnt know how to get to amandas :) most of the beginning of the party was just eating and saying high to everyone, when it got darker...which didnt take long, the dancing started..hmmm let us just leave it at that ^^ favourite quote of the day "amanda...you spend everyday of your life complaining about how mainstream music stucks and yet at your own party, you play it and http://images.nymag.com/images/2/daily/2011/04/15_roblowedance.gif "

it was so funny cause its true! :) :) so emily finally saw what happens at these kinds of events.... :D favourite song that was played bohemian rhapsody, it was so funny belting it out with everyone :) hee hee ^^ so much singing tonight :) lol at daniella's ipod, the only one with ***** music ^^ new songs were danced too :) fun fun fun hahah amanda i guess we will have to wait :)

my voice really hurts :(

so tomorrow dancing :/ im soo tired AND I HAVE SO MUCH SCHOOL WORK TO DO!! >< lol i dont know what is happening tomorrow :/

sudden anger

lol...i posted alot today..well more then normal but i feel like posting... to express my anger

EVERY SINGLE TIME THAT PART OF IT PLAYS MY WATER STARTS TO BOIL! i guess i cant listen to it anymore :/ EVERY TIME, i just cant stop thinking about it. UN.BE.LI.EVE.A.BLE

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it

farewell..

so after 6 months my grandparents went back to china :/ silence hit when the car drove away, the 3 of us just silently headed back to our rooms and i could guess we were all doing the same thing.... i personally should stop, to much of it lately :/ bye bye grandparents :) you did so much for us these few months and i will never be able to return that :/ its ok :) ill see you in 2 months :)

a new person~

so i woke up today thinking that i had lost an hour of sleep cause it was daylight saving...idk why ^^ hahah yes i only woke up at 10:30 today maybe i was tired from yesterday ^^ i had to get ready quickly cause we had to go yum cha with both grandparents from each side of the family and some of my grandpas friends... FUN. we yum cha-ed for like 2 hours =.= yum cha with my grandparents is always the same... always compared to my sisters, yes i know renee is really really smart cause she made it to sydney girls and yes gigi made it to st george girls and where does your eldest go to? oh just some catholic school in randwick, comments about how fat i am thanks grandpa(not the one leaving) :) i feel so much love :) family yum cha's...what can you do :/
after yum cha, had daughter bonding time with mother, then went and got a hair cut yay! my usual hair dresser was there :) but... awkward... ive always liked him cutting my hair, he always knew how to cut it... but awkward when you start saying that kind of stuff....... i guess thank you? but not really.... after hair cut mum was hungry so we went to 85 degrees, i had a tiramisu :D mum had so white chocolate ball, gigi had an extremely sweet strawberry thing and renee had a strawberry puff thing :) then mum was thirsty so they all got drinks :) then finally home time! lol mum was a bad person and left the car in the club parking area and we couldnt get out i had to run in to get a ticket but the lady started lecturing me about leaving the car in there, it was weird cause she was about to write down the car number plate and stuff but..i didnt remember the carplate number..i actually have no idea what it is... she then asked what colour, i said black but really...black is a really common color so she asked what brand, and lol when she heard the brand she stopped hesitated and just gave me a ticket and i was off on my merry way... i wonder why she did that... i dont know whether i should be happy that we didnt really get into trouble for leaving the car there or angry that people are so.... idk.... how she acted was not...ideal. i wouldnt want the world to be like this...but i guess it is :/ oh wells... so on the car ride home renee started belting out "dont cry for me argentina~~~~~" i was so surprised she would know the song, turns out it was cause it was on the radio and the whole ride home mum explained the story of the first lady renee told me to download it for her to watch but really..i dont think she would finish it... its just not a movie children would watch...finally got home and had dinner with my 4 grandparents and lol the whole time i was just think about the conversation i had with bonnie and david :/ funny funny funny :) and now..i am writing this :) tomorrow is my friends party hahah cant wait but :( WHY DID SHE HAVE TO INVITE ********!! totally not...... eh i guess what happened at jasmines will not repeat...well i hope it will not :D we shall see ^^

yes...cause that is EXACTLY wat i need....

i learnt alot of things today
1. how the world works
2. that i am stupid and i fell down the same hole again, adele your right again :/

yay

so yesterday it took all my self control not to go out in the morning and only wait till when it was completely dark to catch the bus out :) horray! for that being done ^^ my whole morning was, cleaning my room, eating :) random house chores, piano and after lunch i watched the power-puff girls movie :) :) ..it wasnt very exciting lol then i played with lucas alot, we were going through photos of lucas when he was younger and idk why..but he was so ugly.... but ive never thought that...all this time i thought he was the cutest thing ever....lol weird ^^ then i finally made my way out to the city :) horray! the bus ride was kinda the same..just that everything was darker outside...also ALOT more people taking the bus out which was kinda annoying == got to crossover and wow it was hot up there ^^ stuff was discuss, people were talk to, icecream was brought, reality stuck, and finally we started practice... well personally i was THAT tired.. maybe cause i only dance for practice ^^ i still had heaps of energy in me :P oh wells, i really liked mama ^^ everyone did a good job practicing :) mama was run over, then history a couple of times then OMG! i cant get over sherlock!! YOU GUYS WERE SO GOOD!!! :) really really want you guys to film it!! you guys know the whole routine now so just film it!! please please please :) :) after practice everyone went home, i went with ellyn kwan leslie and jaye to wagaya where they ate, i wasnt hungry so yer.. :) interesting stuff was discussed, maybe your right :/ but...we cant do anything about it.... then soon dad picked me up at 12:30 and on the way home...he made me eat.... so yay? :/ got home showered then went straight to sleep. twas a fun day yesterday, i hope mama turns out good :)

so today i woke up as normal, lucas was already playing outside sahh early~~~
help out in the shop today until jessie came, took forever to connect the laptop to the tv so we gave up ^^ LOL lucas bursts out crying when he stares at jessie for too long ^^ and its not like normal crying its like if he hit his head or something crying :) then hunger games was watched....wasnt the best movie ever....it was ok....after the movie it was bumming around then jessie went home, and now im writing this.. yes well tomorrow is a busy day and probably a tiring day :/

endless outcomes~~~

so...i woke up early this morning for nothing... which as a bum bum cause i was really tired after yesterday :/ so i woke up at 9 and i wasnt planning to go library until 12ish so i decided to make breakfast :) first time...ever making breakfast ^^ hee hee and be proud! i ate alot! :) :)

then dad dropped me off at the library where i studied :) i FINISHED all my chemistry notes HORRAY! and im half way through my physics one :/ its ok another monday study date :) this time at the state library...i dont even know where that is == oh wells im excited :) ive never been (Y) i shall finish physics... and maths and english ^^ heehee
after library jessie and i went to oporto for dinner...i have to say...it was not the best meal ever.... then i headed to the bus stop HORRAY! for not having to wait, i actually had to run a bit for the bus ^^ but all good (Y) got home and worked for a while...lol at my shop running out of rice..... awkward waiting people ^^ then random blobbing around, oh lucas <3 you get cuter and cuter everyday ^^ ill miss you when you go to china :( speaking of china ;( my grandparents are going back to china in 4 days :( they came for half a year already :/ time flew, this would probably be the last time they come to australia, last time ill see them for a while :( :( great..now im sad.... well tomorrow im quite excited...well i was...until SOMEONE made me realise going early would mean more practice, and i need more practice >< i was so excited cause i never caught the bus out to the city when it was night time like...dark time, ive only caught it home, i see my buses going the opposite way wondering what it would be like..lol im sure its no different == but :) i still want to try....to go or not to go?