my chocolate coating

yes i am too negative about life, and yes its not good for me...but can i help it? everyday i come home almost hating myself, hating everything that happened. nothing to me is real. everything is hidden, a lie. but ofc do people know? no! you reading this, if anyone does read it might know, but do you really believe me? does anything matter anymore, no matter what happens that chocolate coating will always be there, and theres no getting rid of... you cant change whats inside it.... but you can always change the coating. whats inside will always be there... i just want to sink deep and hide away. life sometimes gets too much, the nicer you are to me, the more scared i get. the friendly you are, the more i wonder if my life is a lie, why cant it all just stop... but on a chocolate coated note :) soon my life MIGHT take a huge step...so we shall see how it goes ^^ i hope its successful but... i wouldnt be to sad if it wasnt siighhhhhhhhhhhh

some rollacoaster..... all i have to say is...why? why did you do this to me, why did you all have to do this to me...