right here, right now

people dont release how special and important someone is to their lives, they take them for granted, they use them, and what they believe is the right thing is actually hurting that someone, bit by bit, dagger by dagger, piercing the heart, and ripping apart any hope that is left. i thought i had it figured, i thought everything was going to be alright, but life isnt a movie, there are no happy endings. time and time again i watch people find happiness, and after time and time again having comforting them, supporting them, everyone finds their happy place. you say i enjoy this, you say im strong enough to push though, to handle this..but am i? am i really? perhaps i am the type of person that likes to help others to find their sanctuary, to watch a sanctuary forming, but never in turn finding one. its nights like this where i truely wonder is my life worth it? am i actually going to make it somewhere, 2 years have passed...i feel i have accomplished nothing, nothing to what i can be proud of, nothing to which i can think back and smile at, there is always that shadow. hidden feelings, hidden secrets. over and over again i see the light, but its slips away till i am left with nothing, time and time i struggle only to come close but never reaching my goal. this is my endless cycle of unhappiness and not anyone can help me, i am doomed for my life of misery and sadness and there is absolutely no point in convincing me other wise, this is what my life has destined to be