This break is kinda quite different then I thought it would be like... From recent unfortunate events I have driven 8 hours to sit in a hotel room and watch friends.. But never the less I am enjoying myself, over the last day I have done a lot of thinking and I realize I take granted for a lot of things and wish for so much more, I can't help it that's just the way I am.. But I sure have rethought these wants and decided against them, they aren't important now, what's important now is school and who am I kidding like it will ever happen. But I would like to put out there, even though I doubt you will ever read this... That I'm really greatful that I met you and I can't imagine what it would be like without meeting you.... Actually maybe life would have a lot less heart breaking momments but I'm still glad I met you and I will except reality and forget about it, it's not easy but with the right mind set I believe I can do it　^^
Life has to move on...

the past year

these couple of days ive been thinking alot about the past year, everything that happened last year, at that time we never thought of what will happen now, but boy oh boy the changes. i will always remember your message "i hope i can celebrate many of these days in the future" i hoped so too, but look at now :/ idk this past year...has it been great? i think more great then bad, i found some of my way even though not really.... i guess i lost some friends :/ but i also gained some :) and got closer with others too i guess i feelings to shredded to pieces a couple of times too, but then there are the other times where you will never forget :) i achieved in some aspects but failed in others :/ but then again, thats life, its always full of ups and downs i just cant wait and see what the future holds, another year, another mystery

i have no idea what to do in life anymore.... absolutely none..... :(

"Come back to me if you're not too far If you still love me... I am still waiting for you right here yeah yeah If you already forgot about me, I'll wait a little more so I can hate myself more yeah~" great song!~

i just have to push through!~~~ 3 more days! 3 more assessments!!! by the week end all i want to do is to the beautiful you and sleeppppp! but idk maybe doing something worth while could also be beneficial :) we shall see MATHS MUSIC AND PHYSICS TO GO! WO! i feel totally dead atm ==

is this a sign that nothing i ever do is going to go right? i mean why am i just so stupiddddddddd maybe im just that stupid................................. :( life is good not from where i stand and i guess ******* is so going to happen know, you just all wait and see!

studying...staying a home...nothing to do but study..SUCKS. the one thing i hate about myself is coming back :( i really hate...maybe thats too strong of a word...but it annoys me... what you guys did to me...like i think i was fine the way i was... i was happy that way...now im just miserable... i cant look... maybe this time, i can change it, i mean its not that hard....:) bored bored boreedddd

stupid song == now im thinking about you again~~~~~ :( waah i miss you <3

i need you, and i miss you, and now i wonder..... cause you know id walk a 1000 miles if i could just see you~

i cant believe im ACUTALLY sad....like WHY? it totally shouldnt mean anything but...wow i can actually feel a pierce through my heart like..its not imaginary i can actually feel it.... stupid feelings

todays exam... im really dissapointed idk... did i study enough? some people would say no, cause really..i only studied it a few weeks before the exam...but nothing was really syncing .... but on the other hand..i did study more then i did last time which i guess is a good thing :) but i shouldnt be proud..i didnt do very well... but doing this exam it felt different... normally in exams i wouldnt know something and i would think "lol...." and just bullshit my way through it, but during this exam not once did i think lol instead i was very unhappy with myself. my feelings and thoughts are "no matter how hard i tried nothing good ever happens" but in reality i know...i didnt try that hard...if i did i would have done better.... but those feelings and thoughts are still present WAHHH why am i such i fail == oh how i wish you were here.. lol and this morning i thought today might be a lucky day cause i saw you again....but i guess not