i can not believe...i miss you THAT much...how is that possible!! ==' un.be.li.eve.able! <3

201st post!

:( why.....why...! i hate listening to english music now == but its all i can listen to! :( its so....addictive but it wont stop reminding me.... :( i miss it so much... like.... if i could live any time again it would be then, there, it was...kinda perfect but life is life, that will never happen, but being here i feel like theres an empty space inside of me, and i have no idea what im supposed to do.... no matter how i try ho matter how many times i tell myself..i know its not going to be the same. man im so stupid :( but enough with the depression :D i guess today was an alright day... it was FREEZING! in the morning == it kinda? got better but LOL! i got an iceblock at lunch...idk i just felt like one :D classes today were ok...nothing horrible..but nothing super fun... :/ then day ended, met up with emily to walk down to the uni, then study was done, then just made my bus home :) yay! got home...and basically sat here listening to all those american songs.... dammm those songs! why are you so addictive! tomorrow bludge day! maybe i should finish my maths in time for wednsday ^^ the class test, then start my eng thing...since im busy fri, sat and sun :/ hmmmmmm lets hope activities stop after opera house.... :/ so i guess it didnt happened but who am i kidding *** ******** ***** **** **** ** ** ******...................

all of those fairy tales are full of it, one more stupid love song ill be sick

I totally forgot.... I'm not needed anymore, how am I so stupid ==

Headaches all over again

Why does the future have to be so frustrating. Every time I think about the future I always get the biggest headaches! Do I really want to go to uni? What good will it do? What will I do there? So many questions that I can never answer myself, even with peoples advice it just doesn't help!? What is wrong with me!!! I just want to lay here and do nothing >< cause it's just to confusing.



Things are changing but I can't do anything to change it back to wat they used to be :/ I hope your happy :) I know what to do now :/

one week

so its been a week since i came back and...hmm not reallly any different :/ i still wish i was on holidays, but...that would not happen.... anyway today was kevins birthday thing! yaay! hahah twas really fun :) lol kevin just walked straight passed my tree ^^ but lol when he found me he liked scared me to death == it was fun but it was so cold >< stupid person for leaving my jacket at crossover, so i played the first 2 games freezing >< but then lunch break i went back to crossover to get it back, but in the end...i still got a cold...not good, not good at all, i guess it was purely from today, the dramatic climate change from china and sydney might have played some part :/ oh wells i hope i get better soon, ate medicine as soon as i came home :) so i guess i should be fine? today was really fun :) i really enjoyed it, i hope everyone did :) especially kevin :D tomorrow is le monday, the day of last minute cramming for the maths test tuesday :P oh how fun....idk...there seems that there isnt much i can do now but just cram and hope for the best..i didnt touch work for a whole month... i cant blame anyone else so...yer.. i just hope i get more right then the 2 unit one :/ maybe i should sleep well tonight so tomorrow im not.... sick-ish? so i can fully concentrate :D

first day back

first day back! hmmm, didnt feel much different actually, today was kinda a blugde..... i had religion first which as you all know.... sleep ^^ then music which is never anything really hard but..i need to find 2 pieces...and fast too >.< then i had a sex/rape education talk for like 2 hours, HE WAS HILARIOUS! he went on a tangent at one point but i was laughing so hard at it my stomach hurt :D he was asking us "how we evolved so much more then guys, that we have all synced our bladders together" :P get it!!! TROLOLOLOL he said so many funny things lol best talk ever, ^^ then after we had music again we did more composition stuff and yay! next wednesday we get to go see a chorus line ^^ im so excited :D also its a wednesday :) so i can right a note to go co straight after wards ^^ yay! :P after music i had chem...eh what a big pile of **** i had no idea what was happening, they had started a experiment before going on holidays to find the difference in density of water and ice, there was the experiment in front of me...I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO, lol i was so lost >.< lets hope it gets better ^^ after i walked to the uni with emily cause she had to get to kingsford, it was a nice walk but it was torture! torture i tell you! hmph. so yer i got home did more unpacking and now... trying to prepare >< eh stuff 2 unit! anyway...tomorrow kinda another blugde day ^^ we shall see what tomorrow brings! :P .....when i heard that it was like you ripped a whole, and you may not even know i cared

4 flights down one more to go, the one home

Now I'm back in china after a great 20ish days in America and Canada, I would have to say... I really really enjoyed it :) I didn't actually want to leave Canada! I like the place a lot, to me it's much like sydney except much cleaner :) and ALOT of people are really really nice :) but now I'll have to brace myself for a whole lot of failing:/

5 more days :/ I'm I happy about it or not? Hard to say.....

.... I'm totally falling behind